What’s The Flat Earth Society position on creationism?

After 65 million years, the final autopsy is in. More than three dozen scientists, the world’s top, cranium-heavy beings announced today that it is the scientific consensus that dinosaurs were driven to extinction by a meteor that crashed to Earth at what is now Mexico’s Yucatan Peninsula. The theory has been out there for two decades: The resulting cloud of debris smothered the planet, shutting off  sunlight, killing vegetation and ending life on Earth as we would never know it. A good thing, perhaps, considering The Allosaurus was tall enough to stick his head in your second-story bedroom window and snatch you out of your bed.

This comes alongside the news that critics of evolution are trying to tie that eminently provable fact to global warming in an effort get opposite points of view – in this case, creationism and climate-change deniers – equal time in the classroom.

The time line of creationism doesn’t quite fit in the life-and-death story of dinosaurs on the planet. Likewise, the overwhelming evidence on the Earth’s climate is that we’re frying this planet to death like an egg on a skillet: The polar ice caps are disappearing, glaciers are melting away. The concepts of creationism and the denial that climate change is happening are backed by no scientific evidence.

They are faith-based beliefs. Faith can be a wonderful motivator, in the church, or within organizations that do important social work. But ours is a society that has moved forward through science. Science has made life better for everyone on the planet. We’re still shaking off the ill effects of an anti-science president, George Bush, whose administration actually ordered changes in government scientific findings in order to suit its political agenda.

Consider the huge earthquake that shattered Chile last weekend. Scientists say it was so powerful that it moved the Earth 3.1 inches off of its axis, and shortened the day by 1.26 millionths of a second. That’s amazing: Our scientists are superheroes, they can actually measure such things. And no one bothered to ask The Flat Earth Society what it thought of the whole thing. Equal time? It must be earned.